


Leave It Up To You

by GaiaSilvermist



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Adulting, Crush, Fluff, I do have a crush on XiaoJun, In-Real-Life Friends, M/M, Twitter Friends, We all love Guanheng, mutuals, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22132969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaSilvermist/pseuds/GaiaSilvermist
Summary: Every time Guanheng wants to confess, he thinks it's not the right time because he knows Dejun have a lot of things to worry about, and by the end of the day, Dejun was always leaving a mark that he is thankful that he has a friend like him.
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Leave It Up To You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi to myself! It's been a while since you write. Yeah. It took me to be broken hearted enable to write again.
> 
> This fic is just base on my one sided story, it will be flop ig? It's not proofread. I write, post and then boom. But I did my best to make it readable. 
> 
> Wanted to share my playlist while making this. 
> 
> Lauv - I Like Me Better  
> Pretty Much (feat. NCT Dream) - Up To You  
> Red Velvet - Pyscho

_Before we hit the road, if you ain't ready to go, oh_

_Just tell me that you're sure_

_'Cause I really want you to stay, but this ain't up to me_

_I just want to make sure you're sure_

When did he fall in love with him? When did he decide to hopelessly waits for the right time? Why did he end up having a broken heart?

Guanheng doesn't know. He doesn't know why he ended in a situation like this. Spending his one and half hour break from work in Starbucks, drinking espresso with eight shots. He thinks that strong coffee will make him wide awake, that Dejun will never reciprocate his feelings.

A loud thud echoed in the coffee shop when Guanheng absently bows downs and bump his forehead in the table. He doesn't know it, he barely feels the pain because of his running thoughts. 

"Why am I suffering from this one-sided love? Is this even one-sided? or I'm that hopelessly in love with him and I myself made me believe that maybe I do have a chance?", Guanheng questions the universe.

He roams his hand around the table and took his phone. He opened his Instagram, go to Dejun's account and he looks at his pictures again. His heart is breaking but he can't help himself to look at him, he just wants to see his smile, how happy he is on those trips and how Dejun expresses his love for nature, animals and music on those captions. It's just a few traits that made Guanheng fall in love with his friend.

Guanheng raise his head when he heard someone sipped and he saw Yangyang's face, drinking his coffee. He shoots a glare to the younger and Yangyang gave him a 'what' look. Then someone pulls the chair in front of him and he just groans, bows down his head again and ignored Ten. 

"You're still mopping about Dejun?" Ten asked. 

"Absolutely! Yes!" Yangyang answered Ten. 

"If you just confessed your feelings, everything will be answered by now." Ten nagged him. 

"I know but I don't feel like---" 

"It's the right time. It's your excuse, like always." Yangyang cut off his words. 

"There's plenty of chance but you are just a coward." Ten said before going to the counter to get his drink. 

Ten is right. There are many chances to tell his feelings towards Dejun, but he is a coward who is scared of rejection, to know that (maybe) Dejun won't like him the way he likes him. 

Guanheng remembers those chances, those times when it feels like that Dejun maybe like him the way he likes him. Scenarios like when after they watched a concert and spend the rest of the night talking about random things or when they go to a photo exhibit and Dejun said that he wanted to do things 'together', with him or when Dejun announced that their family will move to Canada and he doesn't want to leave his friends here, especially him. 

But every time he wants to do it, he thinks it's not the right time because he knows Dejun have a lot of things to worry about, and by the end of the day, Dejun was always leaving a mark that he is thankful that he has a friend like him. That will be the time he questions those chances, he thinks that it is just his mind wanted to think because he really likes Dejun that much. 

"You can even tell your feelings right now… I think he messaged you right now." 

He instantly grabs his phone and read Dejun's message to him. 

_"Maybe I wanted to meet you for the last time before we go?"_

Guanheng can't help but to scream and grab his hair out of frustration. 

"Here we go again! I don't know what to think anymore! I don't what to do!" He said. 

He grabbed his coffee on Yanyang's hand and drink it aggressively, without breathing.

"Dude you should go!" Yanyang said right in beside his face. 

"Dude you should know privacy!" He frustratedly said to Yangyang and lock his phone. 

But Yangyang doesn't mind what he said when the younger tells the message of Dejun to Ten who just recently came back with a frappe in his hand. 

"I'm sure that Dejun likes you but he doesn't know it. You said that Dejun doesn't know anything about love because he hasn't experienced it. Maybe that's the situation or maybe not but I'm putting a bet on it. If I am wrong you can slap me after you confess." Ten seriously said.

"Can I join? I want to slap Ten!" Yangyang said and both Guanheng and Ten throws the wet tissue around their drinks to Yangyang.

  


Meeting Dejun was fun because he has someone who can easily talk with, even the most non-sense and random things, he laughs at his jokes all the time, he listens well, he understands your worries, he gave the best and comforting words and he is the most caring and sweet person for Guanheng. He is very thankful that Dejun messaged him on Twitter and now they became in-real-life friends… but since he fell in love with his friend, it's still fun, he is still happy when talking Dejun but once the day is over, he felt tired. Don't get him wrong, he talks naturally to Dejun, he is sincere but it is tiring for Guanheng to talk with Dejun as if he doesn't have feelings for him. He does his best to hide it.

_"When will you be available this week?"_ \- Dejun

_"I'm free. Just tell me when and where you want to meet."_ \- Guanheng

"Wow. Free? Really? You have a job Guanheng, what if he said he wants to meet on Friday? You will not go to work?" He nagged at his self and unconsciously his other self said 'Yes', he is willing to have a red mark to his record just for him to see Dejun for the last time. 

_"I know that you have work till Friday, so maybe Sunday? So you can take a rest on Saturday." -_ Dejun

Guanheng throw the pillow beside him on his face and screams like a teen-ager 

"Dejun you are so sweet, what am I supposed to do?" Guanheng said while smiling like a fool.

Before he types his reply, he calms himself first and do his best to reply decently. 

_"Thank you for reminding me that I have a job but seriously it's okay if I have work, this will be the last time I'll see you so I will definitely make time for you."_ \- Guanheng

"Yep. I will definitely make time for you." Guanheng said while waiting for Dejun's reply. 

_"You are the sweetest. ig that's settle. I really wanted to meet you for the last time and also I have something to tell you. I felt bad for hiding this to you since you are a special person to me… so I need to tell this to you."_ \- Dejun

Guanheng felt his broken heart crushed. It's already broken but it turns to dust while he reads Dejun messaged him. He doesn't know why but he instantly thinks that maybe Dejun found someone while he is travelling with his family. 

"Okay, that's it. Go to sleep Guanheng. Those chances are is not for you to take, it's just an illusion. Go to sleep, prepare for another day at work and just wait for the last time you will be hurt." 

Sunday has come and Guanheng standing in front of the gift store, wearing a comfortable outfit, a hoodie and fitted black jeans matching it with a black cap. 

He kicks the little rock in front of him and looks at the paper bag he is holding. Unlike what Dejun has said, he didn't take rest on Saturday. He spent his day thinking about the gift he will give to Dejun. 

Guanheng felt that the wind went cold, his body tensed up, his eyes widen and he suddenly forgets to breathe for a second when he felt the familiar small and soft arms wrapped around his waist. 

"Guanheng…" Dejun whispered in his ear and he felt Dejun's cheek rest on his shoulder. 

"Hey." And that's the only word he can say that time. 

"I'm sorry that I am late." Dejun detached himself from Guanheng. 

He finally breathes. Guanheng closed his eyes and calm himself and when he opened his eyes he was greeted by Dejun's angelic smile. 

"It's okay. I didn't wait that long. So where are we going?" He asked Dejun. 

Dejun went by his side, wrapped his right arm to his left arm.

"We are entering this shop. I want to buy a gift for everyone. I wanted to give something to them before I leave." Dejun said while dragging him inside the shop. 

He let Dejun picked up his gift to his friend and Guanheng just follow him, admiring his charms and he couldn't help to fell in love more with the person beside him right now. Dejun was very careful and thoughtful on the things he was picking and he admires it. There is no other person like Dejun, that was Guanheng is thinking while staring at Dejun. 

They walked out of the store side by side. Dejun's hand full of paper bags and so he is because he helps Dejun in some of the bags. 

"I know that we should spend this day with just the two of us talking and catching up but I end up on dragging you to buy gifts for my friends. I'm sorry." Dejun said to him without looking at him.

He looks at the other guy beside him, "it's okay, as long as I spend a day with you and I'm glad that I help you out." He said.

Dejun gave him a smile and he swears that he will never get tired to see those smiles. 

"I don't have a plan for today. I just wanted to meet and talk with you. Maybe strolling? Find a quiet park? Is that okay with you?" Dejun suggested.

Guanheng nods in agreement.

Before they start walking again, Dejun put the other piece of his airpod to Guanheng. He frowns at Dejun.

"I prepared for a song for today." And again Dejun smiled to him before he starts walking.

Guanheng was about to follow him but his steps were stopped when he heard the famous song. 

I Like Me Better by Lauv.

He doesn't know what to think. He doesn't want to go in conclusion not until Dejun tell him. 

Guanheng walk by Dejun's side. He can hear Dejun humming to the song and another reason has come to his list on why he should fall in love to the boy on his side.

"I met someone while we are in Japan." 

He is right. Dejun has met someone. Guanheng prepared himself but it's not enough. He knows that his heart will be dead after this story.

"He is nice. I liked his company but I'm not sure if I like him to that extent. I don't even know if I like him as a person, not a friend. You know, I never been in a relationship, I really don't know how it feels to like someone." 

"Like this song. Do you feel like you are the one in the story of this song when you are with him or when you think of him?" Guanheng asked Dejun. 

He doesn't know if he will be happy when Dejun's shook his head in disagreement but he can tell that the other was not okay. 

Dejun sits on the bench near them and Guanheng followed him and sits beside him.

"When I said that I'm busy and unable to talk with you… it's true but moving to Canada is not the only thing that made me busy. I'm busy thinking about everything. Moving to Canada seems hard, I don't think I will adopt well in the new environment and I don't even know what will happen to my career. Also, my family has been pressuring me about my love life as if I'm not stressed about it already. They keep on saying that I'm not getting younger and I know it… it's just I don't know. I still have many things to do and relationship is at the bottom of my list." 

Guanheng listens while playing with his thumb. 

"But you came…" 

He looked up and search for Dejun's eyes.

"You made my life easier. You made all my worries buried somewhere else when I'm talking with you. You are very special to me but… like the guy I met, I don't know if I like you that way…" 

Guanheng's hope lasts for a minute but he is happy that maybe Dejun liked him at some point.

"It's true that my mind was everywhere and you are one of the reasons. I distance myself to think about it but I'm getting more confused the more I think of it."

"I really don't know what to say… because I am involved. I'm sorry and I'm sorry that I make your thoughts messier." Guangheng smiles awkwardly.

It's one of the reasons why he doesn't want to confess, He doesn't want to make Dejun life complicated and their relationship to be ruined.

He heard Dejun sighed and he felt bad because he can't do anything.

"You like me, right?" Dejun asked him while looking at his eyes. 

"I---" 

"Okay, you don't need to answer it. It's just.. I think that you like me based on your actions and words." Dejun said while swaying his feet in the air. 

"It's that obvious?" 

For the first time, Guanheng felt brave and finally took the chance. 

"What?" Dejun confusedly asked.

"It is obvious that I like you more than a friend?" He awkwardly said.

Dejun shrugged his shoulders, "Kinda. It's one of the reasons why my thoughts are all over the place. I don't know if I like you and I don't if I am thinking right, that maybe you like me." 

"At least your worries are lessened because I like you," Guanheng said. 

Everything was light and Guanheng is so happy to finally said it. There is nothing for him to hide and the only thing he has to worry is rejection and what will happen after this. 

"You know I always said that I am always thankful that I have a friend like you, at first it's sincere but it became bitter for me when I said it but I still don't why it's like that," Dejun said like an innocent child saying his thoughts. 

Guanheng can't help but to laugh and pinched Dejun's cheeks. "You are so cute." 

He laughs hard when Dejun's eyes widen and his cheeks became is now tinted by red. 

"Me too. Every word I said to you tastes bitter because I have to say it as if I don't like you." He confessed. 

"So it means that we have the same feelings? That I like you too?" Dejun curiously asked. 

Maybe Ten was right. Maybe Dejun doesn't know what it means to like someone and he doesn't know that he already like someone.

"Can I borrow your phone?" Guanheng asked Dejun.

"Why?" Dejun asked but he gave his phone to him. 

Guanheng searched for Pretty Much collaboration with NCT Dream and plays Up To You. 

_Leave it up to you baby_

_If you wanna spend the night_

_When the time is right_

_Leave it up to you baby_

_Whenever you're comfortable_

_We can make that move_

_Leave it up to you_

"It's been a while since I'm listening to this song. I am hooked to this song because I can feel that I'm inside this song. This song tells about my situation. I like you but it's up to you if will like me back and if you are ready for that talk but nevertheless, I will wait until everything is sure." Guanheng explained to Dejun. 

  
  


_Ain't no pressure, oh yeah_

_We can keep this right here, baby_

_When you're ready, oh yeah_

_Know I'm down to go there, oh (leave it up to you)_

"When we listen to Lauv earlier and asked me if I feel like I'm the one inside the story of the song when I'm with him or thinking of him, I easily said no because I didn't think of him when I heard that song, it is you that I think." 

This is the right time and chance that Guanheng was waiting for and he will grab it right now.

He push Dejun's head in his shoulder and then held his hand. 

"Whenever you're comfortable. We can make that move. I will leave it up to you." Guanheng said before kissing the back of Dejun's hand. 

He is sure that Dejun has a lot of thinking to do but he will wait for Dejun to be comfortable about it, to be sure about it and when Dejun thinks it's the right time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have ever read this! Thank you! 
> 
> Let's be mutuals! Twitter: @gaia_slvrmst (◕ᴗ◕✿)


End file.
